go downstairs
no card for the bus
no money for the bus

go upstairs and
dig through desk drawers until you find
enough

go downstairs
walk to the bus
miss the bus

wait patiently in your husband’s coat

signs taped up in windows
rainbow bullseye marking time
on the end of a fiberglass log
hearts carved into the cement
a sign for an indian restaurant hanging over
a boarded-up garage

the bus makes you sick
chew mint gum
walk behind the guy
who smokes pot for a block
two blocks

wonder if you can pull off a vegan thanksgiving
think about the friend who let you down

look at the people you pass by
realize suddenly
that they all have
full
giant
purposeful
directionless
beautiful
awful
incredible
lifetimes

whole entire lifetimes

and all of them together
a huge entire lifetime in itself

realize you are small
realize you are hungry
walk into your rental house
and write it all down

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